there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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