Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Randomize
