whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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