you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Randomize
