There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
