Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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