I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
