If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
My life is pants optional.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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