Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
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