dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
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