I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
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