Where is the hickey?
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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