i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Randomize
