you guys were way drunker than both of me
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
