i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
