In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
