My room smells like vodka and shame
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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