Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
