wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
So many bounce houses so little time
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
