The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
