He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
