i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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