Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I just cut my nipple shaving
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I have peed in a lot of sinks
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
