i wish starbucks made bloody marys
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
