I bet he comes in French.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
zippers are such a cool invention
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
