grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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