i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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