I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Randomize
