Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
