every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
