ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
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