My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
oh god the rape fog is back!
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize
