you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
