To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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