and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
We left the knife in your bed.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
