I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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