Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
