Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
