addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
