It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
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