you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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