she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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