No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Randomize
