Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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