ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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