If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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