yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
