you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
