..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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