arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
